And it was terrifying... absolutely terrifying...
The worst part of it all for me is the sheer fact that I have been doing this job for the past four months and, might I add, doing a damn good job at it! As a volunteer in a welfare organisation this would be the ideal situation where I supposedly walk into the office of my supervisor and the job is offered to me instantly with all the benefits at a damn good salary... Dreams... the making of breaking of the human psyche.
However..... Tragedy strikes...
My opponent (and yes I view the other applicants as my opponents) is not just older and more experienced than me (even though she knows jack shit about the new children's act), she is also one of my supervisor's very good friends AND she serves on the board of the organisation... KILL ME NOW!!!! How does one even begin to compete with someone like that... and then to add serious insult to already grievous injury... my stomach decided this morning 'SCREW YOU JACK ASS! Today is the day for diarrhea!'
WHY!?
So when it is finally my turn and I finally get to go and sit in the hot seat (it really was a hot seat! while the others were lounging back in the most comfortable sofas, I got to sit in straight back chair in front of them! My interview for my degree was less intimidating than this!) I was sitting there concerned that I might have a fain odor of poo permeating from my already rubbed raw buttocks!! I did however calmly told myself:
"Myself.... you basically just bathed in your cologne... nobody can smell you..... hopefully...."
CURSE YOU INNER VOICE!
After a serious of not so nice questions, that I think i answered correctly, i finally had the initial moment of pleasure where i got to escape my captive situation.... however nobody warned me about the dreaded over-thinking that will come afterwards... For this little madam has a scumbag brain that all of a sudden turned on me!
"YOU WON'T GET IT!! You didn't kiss your supervisor's ass enough......
Torture... physical torture...
So now... we wait... how fun... there is nothing i like more.... fun... such fun....
I really hate my life right now....
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